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The Unlikely Adventures of Count Arjay Du Barkier

Valiantly fending off all useful endeavour with a stick.

External Services:
  • dedbutdrmng@livejournal.com
The First 'Dead' Dave York novel is due through Eneit Press in April 2009. Cool eh?

You can read an old (unedited for complex boring reasons) story by clicking the image below. And it's 100% free! How ace is that?

In a world where the Hungry Dead aren"t too bright, you need a detective who"s not too bright either...

I am RJ Barker, I look a bit like a girl but I'm not. This doesn't stop half the world calling me 'Miss' though but I can cope with it.

I am A Writer! I also review books for SFCrowsnest ('insightful', apparently.)

I've been lucky enough to get Three Honourable Mentions in 'The Years Best Fantasy and Horror'. As I'm massively disorganised and submitting things is 'that bit which I don't really care for' (it's not the inevitable noes, it's the cover letters I hate doing. Call this a personal quirk/bit of idiocy.) then the ratio for getting mentioned is quite good. Anyway, mentions were for:-

Hanging out with the Dream King (2003, Horrorfind.)
Portrait of the Artist as a Good Host. (2008, Whispers of Wickedness.)
The Dust, The Dry heat, The Martinis and the Insects. (2008, In Bad Dreams (anthology). Eneit press.)

The Huge gap there isn't because I suddenly spent years producing rubbish (he says hopefully...) but because I was pre-occupied with not dying and it rather got in the way of writing.

Like books and are you looking for some recommendations? Well, here’s a list of books I’ve reviewed for SFCrowsnest, choose between fantasy, SF and Other and then use my handy star system to decide what you’d like. On the other hand, if you just want to read my eviscerations of books I hated, it works that way too.

The Amazing ‘Three Star RJ Reviewing System.”

*** (Three Stars.) No. Sleep. Till Last Page!
** (Two Stars.) A leisurely read, if it’s your sort of thing you might like it.
* (One Star.) I’m sorry, you probably won’t finish this book as you’ll have accidentally gouged your eyes out with red hot fishing hooks before the end.


Matter by Iain M. Banks***, (Comic)Frozen Wasteland by Kieran Murphy and J. Augusto Cano*, The Armies Of Memory by John Barnes**, Andromeda: Waystation by Steven E. McDonald**, The Battle At The Moons Of Hell (Helfort's War book 1) by Graham Sharp Paul**, Death’s Head by David Gunn***, Death’s Head: Maximum Offence by David Gunn***


Hood (King Raven book 1) by Stephen R. Lawhead**, Scarlet (King Raven book 2) by Stephen R. Lawhead***, The Fort At River's Bend (The Camulod Chronicles book 5) by Jack Whyte***, The Eagle (The Concluding Volume of The Camulod Chronicles) by Jack Whyte***, The Return Of Arthur by Alan Fenton*, Lyonesse II: The Green Pearl And Madouc (Fantasy Masterworks # 35) by Jack Vance**, The Highwayman by R.A. Salvatore*, The Ancient (Saga Of The First King) by R.A. Salvatore*


The Del Rey Book Of Science Fiction And Fantasy edited by Ellen Datlow**

I write fiction (passably well and have a reasonable list of publishing credits), I do poetry (in a barely serious manner) I enjoy Discordianism (I'm my own fanatical breakaway sect that doesn't beleive in reading about Discordianism in case I start thinking there are rules). I'm also quite ill but I tend not to bore people about it (too much).

My journal is largely full of inconsequential nonsense and moments of 'oh God I'm such a hack I should just give in and become a plumber' faffery. If for some reason you feel the need to add me on go ahead you don't need to ask. I'll probably add you back at some point. I might not add you if you do a lot of memes or have big images, that's not a slight it's because my computer is run by (particularly lazy) mice.

I write the "Dead Dave" stories that got pretty good critical reviews but remain difficult to get hold of (Some nice Terry pratchett/Douglas Adams comparisons cropped up) I'm currently working on a novel that hopefully might see the light of day sometime next year. There are still a few novellas HERE but I can't vouch for the quality of the books as it says they're pretty beaten up.

I love to read, I read a lot, in fact reading is pretty much all I do on bad days. My life is made less dull by the incomparable miss_dark who does unpleasant things like force me to leave the house and socialise. She also made me a gift of cat, Mr KiethMarmel (RIP Ginger Demon) , he's mental but we got on well enough if I bribed him with fish every so often.

But that's not all. One journal isn't enough for me. While my Livejournal is full of faff and nonsense my myspace thing contains previously published stories (in an unedited state so take off your grammar hats), bits of poetry and whining about writing. So, yes it's just more faff and nonsense, but of a different kind.